6 ways to spice up your sex life

There is often a point in every relationship when you start thinking about popping a very important question…‘💍maybe we should spice things up?💍’ 

Sometimes… despite our best efforts, sex with the same person after a while can get a bit dull. But the good news is that now we’ve admitted it and are no longer tip-toeing around it, we can get to the good bit. 

I’ve certainly been there – and in the heat of the moment it can feel pretty gutting when you’re getting down and dirty (I can only assume), only to have your mind wander and start thinking about un-sexy things such as taking your washing inside because it’s just been raining, buying your Nana’s Christmas present in October and worse – how much you’re looking forward to watching Strictly this weekend. 

When the Spice Girls said Spice Up Your Life, they were not messing around and here at The Lowdown we’re not shy about talking all things sex and reproductive rights. So let’s get into it. 

68% of The Lowdown community¹ said they’ve needed to spice up their sex life in the past and you can read on to find out some actionable tips to significantly improve your sex life. 

PSA: If you’re starting to have little to no enjoyment of sex and maybe have lost your libido, this might not be the right article for you, check this one out instead.

1. Communicate!

Like we always say, communication is key. So first and foremost, tell your partner how you’re feeling. Kim Cattrall once said: ‘I don’t want to be in a situation for even an hour where I’m not enjoying myself’ and though she was talking about not coming back for the SATC (Sex & The City) reboot, it feels quite fitting here. 
It’s likely if you’re not feeling it that your partner may not be either. Most of the time, the nicest thing you can do is be honest.

If you’re struggling to orgasm, here’s another article you may love to read. Or forward to a bestie who needs to hear this.

2. Be a bit romantic with it

To move forward, oftentimes you need to start from the top. A lot of people say they feel the need to spice things up after they’ve been with their partner for a long time because nothing feels ‘new and sexy’ anymore. 

I’d suggest going back to basics, go on date nights, light candles, play with mood-lighting and why not treat yourself (or your partner) to some new lingerie?

3. Switch up positions

While missionary is a fan favourite for a few reasons, maybe all you need to do is switch it up?

Apparently there’s over 240+ positions to try so give it a google and you’ll find a variety of ones for you and a partner to try out after the next date night.

Oh, and bring lube!

4. Learn the art of sexting

We’ve spoken about communication, but what about on your phone? ‘Sexting’ is when you and a partner send each other messages of a sexual nature, exploring your fantasies. Some people also share nudes as part of sexting, which wouldn’t do any harm either 👀. 

A lot of women boast about the impact that sexting has had on their confidence and sex lives as it adds a new element of excitement that you may not have explored yet.

5. Explore your fantasies

Speaking of exploring, to mix things up, have a think about what you’d really like to try in (or outside of) the bedroom.

Some people like role play, dirty talk or using sex toys. Recent studies have shown that sex toy usage amongst couples is on the rise² with many couples purchasing as a way to encourage intimacy. 

6. See a sex coach

If you’re still not feeling it, make sure to book an appointment with our resident sex coach Lucy for a non-judgemental, relaxed conversation with an expert. With our sex coaches guidance, you’ll be able to explore your desires more and have a better sex life for it!